How to Give a Handjob | All You Need To Know

Quick links: Exceptional Handjob Basics | Hand Job Techniques | The Wonders of Testicles

Here’s a fact: you will never be able to beat a man’s meat – give good handjob – the way he can.

Here’s another fact: that’s not the point of a hand job, and it shouldn’t discourage you from giving him one.

How To Give A Handjob That Feels Exceptional

Many women fear giving hand jobs to their partners. This is primarily because they feel like they can never keep up with or match the salami-stroking ability that a man can.

According to NationalSexStudy, men keep their penis busy at least four times a week. Even so, a great hand job is not about being able to replicate what someone can do solo.

Think about it this way, you can make pancakes by yourself. But adding an extra chef to the kitchen can spice things up.

Guys, gals, and non-binary pals, a good hand job is really down to knowing two things.

  • One, how much pressure you put on the penis.
  • Two, how much lube you use to empty his balls and have him begging for more.

Let’s get down to the nitty-gritty of a good hand job.

Prep before the Tug

As with most things sex-related, the preparation for the main event is doing half the job already. This is especially important for hand jobs.

There are a few things to take into consideration before doing the five-knuckle shuffle with your man’s pork sword.

Know the Penis Before Handling It

Any relationship expert would tell you that in order to truly love someone, you need to get to know them first. The same applies to hand jobs. Except it’s mostly about knowing your partner’s penis so only you can give him the nut of his life.

Either way, penises come in all shapes and sizes. This goes for the head of the penis, its girth, length, color, sensitivity level, and everything else in between.

The first step to understanding what makes your partner tick is to simply look at the package at hand.

A Few Intro Tips

Giving him a hand while he whacks himself off can be a good start. Maybe focus on his balls while he works on the tip. Pay attention to his body language when he’s close to climaxing.

Think of yourself as an explorer out in the wild. Wade your way through the wants and needs of your partner – always aiming to satisfy his cock.

Observe carefully and study those facial expressions at all times.

Cut the Claws

While a little scratch on the inner thighs can feel sexy, your partner’s balls aren’t going to appreciate your sharp nails.

Before you attempt to give the man a hand job, be sure that your main tool isn’t as sharp as a scalpel.

The thing about hand jobs is that they require the use of a lot of lube and spit. This means a lot of slipping and sliding that you don’t want to result in any cuts or bruises.

The Slide and Glide

Likewise, keep your hands soft, but not dripping with oil to the point where you can’t grab onto something. Keep your hands clean, your nails blunt, and your intention focused on making him feel good.

Nevertheless, gently ‘scratching’ his dick is a good idea if you want to get him going. Obviously, don’t slice and dice your way down the shaft.

But, keep a steady and soft rhythm over his penis with your fingertips. That way you will give him a plethora of exciting and tingling sensations. These will cause even more blood to flow between his legs.

Teasing is Key

Every good sex therapist, including myself, will tell you that the secret to a good time in bed is to keep the foreplay going as long as possible. The build-up to a good hand job is already doing most of the work before the final nut-down happens.

“Foreplay should begin at the body’s extremities, not at the genitals.”

by Daniel Reid; Atria Books, 1989
from The Tao of Health, Sex, and Longevity: A Modern Practical Guide to the Ancient Way

There’s a misconception out there, that men don’t enjoy getting teased. On a biological basis alone, that claim is false.

Of course, if the guy you’re with doesn’t enjoy receiving a good tingle before the tugging, there’s no point in forcing it.

Still, laying down on the sofa while watching TV sounds like the perfect time to reach your hand over and start rubbing over his pants. It gets both the mood and his penis going.

The Barely Game

Alternatively, you can always strip off his underwear and focus on everything but his big dick.

PRO TIP: Gently squeeze his ass, grab his pointer finger and push it into your mouth. Talk dirty, focus on constant eye contact while you rub him over his pants. Basically, try anything and everything that can get the tease going.

by Robert Thomas
from Sextopedia

Use Pre-Cum

Most men will have precum – either from a tease or naturally. This is the perfect lube to get things up and running initially. The tip of his penis is super sensitive since it contains the most nerve endings.

 “During sexual arousal each of the bulbourethral (Cowper’s) glands produces a clear, sticky fluid known as pre-ejaculate.

by Sue Walker, Maryann Wood, Jenny Nicol; Elsevier Health Sciences, 2020
from Mastering Medical Terminology – EPUB: Australia and New Zealand

This means overstimulating that area can lead to pre-ejaculation and a potentially ruined moment.

So, proceed with caution when playing on the field. The more pre-cum he produces, the better the chance of a mind-blowing orgasm.

Therefore, aim towards a steady pace and maybe use your other hand, so you wouldn’t go overboard.

Hand Job Techniques

Similar to blow jobs and other oral sex-related guides, there are no foolproof techniques to guarantee a hand job done right. However, don’t let that discourage you from your pickle-tickling endeavors.

The thing about hand jobs is that they don’t always have to end in an orgasm – even though that’s still an added bonus.

There are, however, some ‘well-known’ hand job tips and techniques to help you spice up your hand job skills – as well as your sex life.

1) The Classic Hand Job

This technique requires one hand (or two if he’s really packing) and a steady motion that builds up speed over time. The best position to do this is either to be on top or on your knees.

These options give you the most control of both the base of his penis as well as the tip.

Use either spit, some water-based lube, silicone lube, or even coconut oil. Grab his penis by wrapping your fingers around the shaft. Start stroking up and down in a twisting motion, paying close attention to your partner at all times.

2) Opposite Directions Pleasures

‘Different strokes for different folks’ is your reference guide in this case. No guy has the same preference when it comes to the type of hand job they want.

Some prefer a rabbit-racing pace, some want a slow and steady tug, and others prefer a steady flow with a lot of spit on the side.

To make things a bit more intense, put your thumb over his penis head and lightly graze over the tip of his penis.

This will stimulate all of those tiny nerve endings. It will also lead to some intense satisfaction while one hand works on the shaft at the same time.

3) The Two-Handed Jerk

This one requires a bit more practice, but it can be mastered if done right. The point of this technique is to have two hands working at the same time, in opposite directions.

The hand that will focus on the head will move upward, with a much gentler grip to the head of the penis. The other hand will mainly focus on the base of the dick to keep it both busy and pleasured.

This is also excellent for any guy who prefers more pressure and an intense tug, as opposed to a light stroking session.

Use silicone-based lube to keep things lubricated for longer periods of time.

This is a faster-paced motion that goes for intensity to reach the ultimate orgasm.

4) The Downward Tug

If your partner enjoys a non-stop stream of pleasure, opt-in for a little ‘escalator’ action. The premise is simple and involves the use of two hands.

Lube makes this technique happen, so when you think you have enough, add more lube.

Instead of twisting your hand up and down, this movement is continuously downwards. There’s a rapid switch in hands where one hand stops at the base of his penis and another starts at the head.

The best hand job is one that never stops, after all.

5) The Ring Hand Job

The name is self-explanatory – this technique requires creating a ring with your fingers. To do this, connect your index finger and your thumb. Now, place them on the top of the penis head and keep them there.

Since most of the nerves are located here, constantly stimulating the area is the only way to guarantee a full-blown orgasm.

Find a comfortable position – preferably on top – and go to town. As usual, keep things as gentle or as intense as your partner prefers.

6) Include the Prostate

What’s better than pleasure received from penetrative sex? The pleasure from a prostate massage!

This evidently goes beyond the boundaries of a simple hand job. This is why consent from your partner is essential before anything else.

Read More | Best Prostate Massagers

It’s important to understand that this isn’t anal sex – or any variation of it. It’s simply about giving pleasure to the one part of the male body that women lack. It’s the opportunity to cause your man the orgasm of a lifetime.

7) The Sex Educator Technique

All men’s brains crave newness in the bedroom. Use your own hand to move in between his butt cheeks. Start with one finger and move just 2-3 inches inside before curling upwards.

In that sense, it’s pretty similar to finding the G-spot on a woman, except it provides a whole lot more pleasure for men.

Remember that butts are not self-lubricating. So, attempting to just go in dry is not going to end well for anyone. Instead, either spit-shine the hole or add a whole lot of lube to make way for an ass-tastic experience.

The Wonders of Testicles: How Much Pressure is Enough?

A hand job is not just about focusing on the penis – even though it’s the main character. The balls are often left without any stimulation. However, they are a source of extra pleasure during a hand job.

Pay attention to your partner and how they treat their balls. On a related story, remember that not every guy is into fondling them, due to sensitivity.

For the ones who are, take advantage of this and make them feel good using just your fingers alone.

Three techniques can be used here:

Fondling

This is about gently grabbing and cupping the nutsack in the palm of your hand. It’s essentially a type of massage where you move the sack between your fingers to give your partner some extra stimulation.

Squeezing

Obviously, this requires careful consideration of the male anatomy. It also demands ample knowledge of the pain that occurs from a rough squeeze.

With a steady hand and a gentle grip, squeeze the balls and wait for your partner’s reaction. Slow things down if you’re going too fast, or switch things up if you’re being too rough.

Pulling

This one is for the guys that like to run the line between pain and pleasure. It doesn’t provide direct stimulation, since the action involves pulling at the sack, stretching it, and getting it to tingle to an orgasm.

Conclusion

As cheesy as it sounds, the best hand jobs are ones that are born out of clear communication, attentiveness, and understanding.

The combination of these three will make for quite the ride for your partner. Ultimately, it will provide some seriously sexy times involving nothing but the use of your hand.

Author

  • Robert Thomas

    Robert Thomas is a sexologist, researcher, and writer who loves to explore and investigate everything that is related to bedroom action. He strives to improve couples' sex life by challenging the advice given in research papers, books, magazines, and on the internet in general. Robert loves to write about sex, BDSM, as well as tips & tricks on how couples can introduce new sex toys to their relationship. He has been proudly featured in Healthline, Bustle, Cosmopolitan, Self, AskMen, MelMagazine, Kinkly, Jack&Jill Adult, and in many other publications. Learn more. LinkedIn

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