BDSM Code Of Behavior | SSC, RACK, & PRICK Explained

Welcome to another peek inside the BDSM community.

I am excited to talk to you today about what is and is not appropriate behavior in the BDSM world and what essential guides everyone should know.

Key Takeaways

The BDSM Code of Behavior focuses on keeping the experience safe for everyone involved.
Specific places and events may add to the general Code of Behavior.
The cornerstone of the Code of Behavior is respect.

What is the BDSM Code of Behavior?

When we talk about all things BDSM, we talk about something outside most people’s everyday experiences.

Because of this, we often encounter a space where not everyone is familiar with the behavior or etiquette that guides BDSM interactions.

The most important thing to remember is that BDSM community members are a very safety-focused.

Yes, BDSM community members do things that are well into the world of crazy for many people, but that doesn’t mean we are reckless. While we will discuss many aspects of our Code of Behavior, also called Code of Conduct, respect is first and foremost.

Kinks for Everyone

We don’t all share the same kinks and fetishes, which is fine. Just because a particular kink is not for you, that doesn’t make it not okay. Kink shaming is not tolerated.

I say I am kinkier than a garden hose all the time, but that still doesn’t mean that I’m into every kink, and I still find new ones on the occasion that I didn’t know existed. Some I try, and some are a hard pass.

I still respect your right to engage in your kink, and I thank you for respecting my right to engage in mine.

Keeping It Consensual

I know consent is practically my battle cry. It is just so important! Consent is what keeps us safe and legal. It’s first about respecting boundaries.

“Explicit consent is a fundamental rule of BDSM interactions, even if there is a dominant and a submissive partner.”
by Leam A. Craig, Ross M. Bartels; Wiley, 2021
from Sexual Deviance: Understanding and Managing Deviant Sexual Interests and Paraphilic Disorders

For some reason, people think that engaging in BDSM is automatic consent, and it isn’t. Before you enter someone’s personal space, take a picture or video, touch them, their clothes, or any props they may have, you need consent.

Consent is such a crucial thing that it is an integral part of SSC, RACK, and PRICK. They represent an evolution in BDSM as we strive to make things more straightforward.

Let’s dig deeper into each of them, starting with the oldest.

SSC (Safe, Sane, and Consensual)

SSC is a shortening of Safe, Sane, and Consensual. This is where we started. The basics are about asking three questions:

Is it Safe to engage in the activity?
Can we engage in the activity in a Sane manner?
Does everyone involved Consent to what is about to take place?

The problem is that these questions left many areas for self-defining and could be a bit vague. It came down to a problem of defining what some of those words mean for each person.

RACK (Risk-Aware Consensual Kink)

SSC evolved into RACK or Risk-Aware Consensual Kink. This simple acronym puts the responsibility more squarely on everyone.

Being Risk-Aware means acknowledging that there is risk involved in the activity. You understand the risks, and hopefully, you are using strategies to minimize those.

As always, we have Consent. This one does not change. Remember, I said it is super important. Without consent, you don’t have BDSM!

And we finally got bold enough to include the word Kink. Let’s not kid ourselves here. Safety would be less of a concern if not for the kink aspect.

PRICK (Personal Responsibility, Informed, Consensual Kink)

This evolution added in the worst jokes, making them easy to remember. The simplest and coarsest would be “play with your PRICK.” I know, awful, but you don’t forget it.

PRICK is Personal Responsibility, Informed, Consensual Kink.

I especially love that it reminds us that we are personally responsible for our activities. It is easy to blame someone else when something goes wrong. But we each made the individual choice to participate in the given activity. Dominant or submissive, you are responsible for yourself.

Next is Informed. We talked about how important this was in our article on informed consent. Can you be safe or sane if you don’t know what you are getting into?

Then we come right back to Consensual. After all, it may be the single most important concept we have. Without it, nothing we do is sane.

And, of course, there’s that whisper word Kink again. If BDSM is your thing, embrace that often misunderstood term. Make it your own.

More on BDSM Etiquette

Of course, consent will always be the most significant thing, but there are other aspects of etiquette we should look at, and every one of them comes down to respect.

It’s best when you are discrete. I know that sounds odd as open as we talk here, but not everyone is as out there with who they are and how they play. I use 12 step meeting philosophy. Anything I see or hear while playing stays there.

Leave your assumptions at the door. There are subs, Doms, Tops, bottoms, slaves, Masters, Switches, and more. You can’t just assume, based on the role someone is currently in, that they always play that way. We are a creative group, and some of us are flexible.

Treat everyone with respect. Regardless of their role in a scene, everyone here is a human being and deserves to be treated with respect.

You should be honest. This includes health concerns and experience. If you want to explore something new, communicate that with your partner instead of pretending you know something you don’t.

Remember, we want pain not to hurt. I think this may be my odd wording. I mean, yes, feel it. Go as far as you and your partner agree. But don’t cause any actual harm. Nothing that requires medical attention or creates severe or permanent damage.

Respect non-community members as well. Some of us move beyond scenes. We live a BDSM lifestyle 24/7. That does not mean we get to make the vanillas in public uncomfortable. They have their right to a safe, sane existence as well.

Why Use the Code of Behavior

I think of BDSM much like a sport. You must know the rules to play it effectively and safely.

It is always best to know how to interact in a setting. Whether we are talking about a single partner, a group, or an event, we want to fit in. Using the Code of Behavior lets us do that.

Personal Experiences With BDSM Etiquette

I have been in my fair share of BDSM-related settings. Using the Code of Behavior helps me flow in the setting and respect those around me.

When I attend an event, I always know the dress code and rules that the venue or runners may have. This helps avoid awkward and potentially embarrassing situations. Plus, if I don’t abide by the guidelines, I won’t get to stay.

The Code of Behavior is just as important in a more private setting.

I always want to respect myself and my partner, no matter our roles. It is the key to making sure what we do is precisely what we want to do, no more and no less.

Advantages & Disadvantages

Advantages of the BDSM Code of Behavior

Helps you fit into the environment
Creates a sense of security in the space
Shows that you take BDSM seriously

Disadvantages of the BDSM Code of Behavior

Takes some time to learn the finer nuances
May vary by setting
Can feel more restrictive than freeing initially

What’s Next?

This may be the most straightforward next step we’ve ever discussed. The thing is, do it. Treat people with respect, always get consent, and keep things safe. Pretty easy, right?

It would help if you used the BDSM Code of Behavior in every encounter. It makes the meeting safer regardless of the setting.

And, as always, with all BDSM activities, make sure you trust your partner and have a safe word!

SSC, RACK, & PRICK FAQs

Does the Code of Behavior dictate what activities I can engage in?

Not at all. It only stresses that everything you do is done with respect and in a safe, sane, and consensual manner. This ensures that everyone has a good time.

Who holds us responsible for the Code of Behavior?

The answer should be that you do. However, beyond self-regulation, there are specific guidelines dictated by the event, venue, and people involved. Remember, violating the Code of Behavior could have long-lasting consequences for you in the world of BDSM.

Is there a way to avoid learning the BDSM Code of Behavior?

Why would you want to? There is no sport or social situation outside the lifestyle you take that point of view on. The Code of Behavior isn’t about restrictions. It is about ensuring you and everyone around you are not harmed during the experience.

HarliQ

HarliQ is a long-time member of the BDSM community. She identifies as a switch who has spent time in both Dominant and submissive roles in a diverse array of different scenes. She has experience in a wide variety of kinks and fetishes. HarliQ enjoys sharing her passion for the BDSM lifestyle with others and providing education and information to those new or evolving in the community. She is pursuing her Master of Psychology with a focus on human sexuality. Her goal is to remove the stigma many people associate with BDSM activities and open this world to anyone interested in exploring their whole self.

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