If you’ve ever watched porn, you have seen fingering.
Except it’s the bad kind of fingering and one that a real-life vulva owner will not enjoy. Why? Mostly cause the technique is not there. A girl’s vagina is a temple of mysteries to solve, and knowing your way around it is highly recommended.
Actual fingering requires finesse and a combination of indirect and direct stimulation. Also, don’t forget a loooot of time teasing your partner. It’s what keeps your lady happy, excited, and – most importantly – very wet.
Can’t put your finger around it? Read on, you’re about to.
What is Fingering?
According to masterclass, fingering is the process of using fingers to stimulate the outer and inner parts of the vagina. It’s about applying pressure on certain parts of pussy and rubbing on others. It’s about gradually increasing the pace, power, and precision. Trust me, all these will make your bean flicking utter success.
There’s no real definition of fingering other than ‘fingers in, fingers out, fingers around and about.’
As with most strategies concerning self-pleasure, most women have fingered themselves in the past. They know exactly what pushes the button. Though, this shouldn’t discourage any man or woman who wants to use fingers to stimulate their partner. But, it’s something to take note of when attempting any tricks you may have seen in porn.
Much like every woman, each vagina is different. That’s why communication is a vital part of the equation that results in a successful orgasm in the end.
Knowing Anatomy Means Knowing Pleasure
The journey to a successful fingering begins with ample knowledge about the female anatomy. It’s not the sexiest of topics per se. But, it’s a necessary part of giving sexual pleasure.
Vaginal Opening, Outer and Inner Labia & Clitoral Stimulation
The outside of the vagina is known as the vulva. Most vulva owners actually orgasm from its stimulation. This is where the magical clitoris lies. It’s also a severely underutilized part of the pussy when it comes to fingering.
Without getting too technical, there are a few outer parts of the vagina. These include the outer and inner labia, clitoral hood, clitoris, and vaginal opening. All of these can and should be given attention to when fingering. Doing so will make for an excellent, body-shaking orgasm – using fingers alone.
The clit is one part of the pussy that should be kept entertained at all times. Healthline notes that its sole purpose is pleasure, with close to 15,000 nerve endings packed into the little nub. This wonderful machine also goes by the name of the clitoral complex.
Because every penis evolved from a clitoris, it functions similarly to a dick. It requires a steady, circular motion with light pressure to cause sensations that lead to an orgasm.
I would even go as far as to say that direct clitoral stimulation is the key to a great relationship.
The inner parts of the vagina may seem less exciting. However, they do hide one gem that is not often explored: the G-spot. This is the second-best magical mystery of the female body. It is also often ignored during oral sex or intercourse.
Inside the vaginal opening, beyond the front wall, there’s a three-to-six inch-long ‘hallway’. It leads to the cervix. This is the no-go zone, where painful sex comes from. Other than that, there’s a phenomenon known as the A-spot, which is close to the cervix – another stimulation area producing powerful orgasms.
Depending on what your partner likes, this is an excellent place to aim for G-spot stimulation. Since it’s approximately two to three inches inside, it doesn’t take much to reach the area. The key here is to do a ‘come hither’ motion by lightly pressing upwards.
This way, you can push the button that will help your partner reach orgasm quicker than ever before.
Before You Finger
There are a few things you should focus on before your finger goes close to her pussy. Sex can be a wonderful experience, but it can also turn into a bad trip to the doctor if you don’t follow basic hygiene standards. Pay attention to the preparation before pulling any fancy moves!
Wash Your Hands
Wash your hands and body parts you’ll be using on your partner’s genitals before commencing with the sex play.
Since the vagina is a self-cleaning organ, it produces a lot of natural secretions. When mixed with different bodily fluids, this can turn into a nesting ground for an STI transmission.
To avoid giving your lady an infection, keep your fingers and nails clean. Moreover, rough hands don’t feel good with handshakes, let alone inside a pussy. Keep your hands moisturized and soft to deliver an all-around satisfying experience for your partner.
File the Claws
Long nails are one problem, but sharp nails are a different breed of trouble altogether.
The skin around and inside the vagina is very gentle. Keeping things blunt is how you guarantee that no vaginas will be injured during the love-making session. A good partner should keep track of their partner’s needs. That starts with knowing how to file nails.
Nothing too fancy, just a little back and forth filing until no sharp edges remain.
Be the Sex Tease!
Any coach will tell you that warm-ups are the most essential part of any sport. In sex, that is pretty much the only way to guarantee no vagina is left dry during the pleasuring process.
Start slow. Opt for some neck kissing. Place one finger between her legs while making out. Kiss her inner thighs instead of focusing on her pussy. Slowly insert a finger inside, before taking it out quickly. The winning formula for maximum wetness lays somewhere between barely and no touching anywhere near the vulva. Talk about quality sex.
The Vulva Body Language
The more time you spend on her vulva, the wetter she’ll become. Hence, the more playtime you will have together. This includes touching any sensitive parts down there. Fingering is only one part of the equation, after all.
The clitoral hood for example is an excellent way to please her clit. It requires only the smallest circular motions to generate pleasure. Some women really want their labia to be stimulated. So aim at gently caressing that area without applying any pressure. Just make sure to not overstimulate, so you don’t spoil the fun too soon.
How to Successfully Finger Your Lady
No ‘how to finger a girl’ article is complete without a few techniques that are sure to get a woman going. Before attempting anything, ask for her opinion. After deciding to do something, ask for feedback. The great circle of sex comes down to excellent communication. If you want to nail your fingering game, here are the sex tips to follow.
The Clit Finder
The easiest way to get a woman off is by focusing on the clitoris. There are a few options to get her clit going. All of them require the use of at least two fingers that work at the same time. The classics include:
The Side to Side Rub
What you’re essentially doing is lightly pressing your finger(s) onto the clitoral hood. You are also using your partner’s natural wetness to move left and right in a horizontal motion. For even better results, apply lube. While it differs from person to person, an extra lubricator is a good idea as is. Pick up the pace when she asks you to, or follow non-verbal cues and her body language. This will help you learn when to pause, speed up, or stop the tease.
The Long Stroke
Since the clitoris is a pretty long part of the pussy and extends upwards, aim at giving your woman a full clitoral stimulation. Do it by gently rubbing up and down her clit, using just one finger. This applies enough pressure to please those nerve endings. Yet, it’s not harsh enough to cause overstimulation. Move down to her labia, add more lube, and play around until your partner cums or better yet – squirts!
The Four Finger Shuffle
This technique is where all the Avengers assemble for one intense orgasm. If your partner is someone who enjoys a lot of speed and intensity in one, grab some lube and go to town. Since it builds up pressure, it’s also great in cases of a looming nut.
Take four fingers and place two at the top of the clitoris. The other two work on both the labia and near the vaginal opening. This will take some practice before you master it. Make sure to keep full control of your fingers at all times. If necessary, use two hands to cover an area with more precision.
It’s a combination of circular and straight-line motions and barely putting your fingers inside the vaginal canal before quickly taking them out. If she’s wet at the start, she’ll be dropping by the end of this adventure.
Try It From Behind
Most women naturally masturbate from behind, since it’s the most comfortable position for doing it solo. This is why fingering her from behind may end up doing wonders for your partner. Simply guide your hand inside her and find the angle she prefers, before backing out. To spice things up a bit, do a ‘come hither’ motion while inside to hit the G-spot.
The Butt and Pussy Combo
If your partner enjoys anal (or is at least interested in trying it), anal fingering is a great way to explore it. However, women don’t have a prostate and lack nerve endings inside the anus. Therefore, it’s more complicated than just putting a finger up her butt. Stimulating the rest of her, the clit specifically, is the way to nail it every time.
Remember that the anus is not self-lubricating. While her natural wetness is a good place to start, applying lube is a must to give your partner a good experience.
Buckle up for Action
No fingering technique will ever come close to the detailed instructions of your partner. This is why listening to what, when, and how your partner wants is the only way to grace her with unique pleasure.
Now go forth on your journey to become the ultimate finger master!
Robert Thomas is a sexologist, researcher, and writer who loves to explore and investigate everything that is related to bedroom action. He strives to improve couples’ sex life by challenging the advice given in research papers, books, magazines, and on the internet in general. Robert loves to write about sex exercises, as well as tips & tricks on how couples can introduce new sex toys to their relationship.