How To Gape Your Ass | This Is What You Need To Know

Quick links: How Does Anal Play Feel | Anal Gaping Definition | Sex Toy Size | Reasons To Try | How To Do It | How To Prepare | The Aftermath | Side Effects

Anal gaping is a topic that usually brings fear to many sexually active men and women.

Still, millions of people keep doing it – why?

The answer is simple.

Like almost all sexual activities, stretching one’s ass can be an immensely pleasurable experience in many different ways.

The Anal Play Feel

When someone mentions gaping, it’s usually being associated with excruciating pain and discomfort. I’m not saying that this can’t be the case as most sexual activities can be painful and unpleasant if done wrong.

So, if you’re here, it means that you’re looking for the best way to approach this activity.

That’s why I’ve decided to touch (or rather stretch) a bit on the topic and debunk all myths while telling you exactly how to gape your ass. It’s time for you to dive deep and learn everything there is about anal stretching and how it’s done.

“Because the anal opening is richly endowed with nerves, this area can be very sensitive and sexually arousing.”

by Linda Lewis Alexander; Jones and Bartlett, 2007
from New Dimensions in Women’s Health

Let’s get into it.

What Is Anal Gaping?

In a simple definition, anal gaping is the act of stretching your anal muscles enough for them to stay stretched out even after the anal play is over.

If you’ve ever watched porn more than three times, you’ve undoubtedly seen it and thought -‘ I’m not going ever to do this.’ Whilst anal gaping isn’t the same as oral sex, it is also not as excessive in real life as it is in the movies.

The anal gape is a simple activity that can help you have pleasurable anal sex. Moreover, some men find it hot when they’re gaping their partner, and it can be an exhilarating kink.

Now that we have a clear image of what anal gaping is, it’s time to get a bit more technical.

Let’s Talk About Size

When it comes to anal gaping – size does matter!

Just about every width can make your backdoor wider. However, if you’re completely new at it, getting a big butt plug or 12-inch dildo is definitely not the best idea.

If you’re using your fingers, start with the pinky and work yourself up to three to five fingers. If you’re using toys, try to either purchase an anal training kit with different sizes or buy a small butt plug or a dildo and work yourself up to a larger one.

It’s important not to try and push your boundaries. The anal training should last for a couple of weeks or even months as you want to avoid any harm or discomfort.

Why Should You Consider Anal Play?

Sex should never bring you pain or discomfort. Thousands of young individuals go through this type of experience, thinking that it’s just part of the act. This is usually the case with anal play.

Unless you’ve been living under a rock –anal sex is a big thing!

According to Cosmopolitan, 40% of women between the ages of 20 and 24 have tried anal sex. At the same time, 20% of all women in relationships have had anal sex at least a few times. There aren’t similar statistics for men; however, I’m sure the number goes beyond this.

And there’s a pretty good reason why anal sex is a big thing. The anus is filled with a lot of nerve endings that make anal penetration feel exceptionally good – if done right.

So, if you want in on anal fun, you should consider an anal training sesh.

Giving Anal Training

You don’t have to stretch your anus just to get prepped for sex. A lot of people enjoy the mere activity of anal gaping – both on themselves or their significant other.

If you’re to indulge in anal play with your partner or with larger anal toys – learn how to properly approach anal stretching.

Anal Sex Gaping: How To Do It?

For a smooth anal stretch ride, there are multiple things you should always keep in mind.

Your Own Personal Anal Training Kit

Some sex toys give us ultimate pleasure, but some are just an interlude to what lies beyond.


Using a Dildo can be an effective way to stretch your anus. The biggest perk of using these sex toys is that they come in different sizes, so you can choose where to start.

Furthermore, you will surely enjoy yourself while work on your anal stretching – talk about a win-win, right?

Go wild and make it fun – get a lifelike dildo or other anal toys of your preference.

Butt Plug

When in doubt – butt plugs are always the answer!

This sex toy comes with a narrow tip that you can easily insert into your anal opening, and they’re even easier to take out. Unlike dildos or vibrators, butt plugs are meant to go in your anus and stay there for a while.

There are butt plug trainer kits you can find online that are designed specifically for stretching your anal muscles. This toy is perfect for gaping and is sure to give you the anal workout you need.

You could also consider making your own DIY butt plug.


Of course, there is an anal toy intended to stretch out your anal opening – I was just keeping the best for last. You’ve maybe heard of medical devices called rectal dilators?

This is a perfect toy for the ultimate anal session. You can easily find these online in case you are interested.

These toys usually come in a set of different sizes, so you can work up your anal muscles step by step.

Anal Training Amateurs: What to Look Out for in a Master Anal Play

There are thousands of online stores and sex shops that will sell you just about anything. It’s crucial for you to do your research beforehand and find the right toys that will help you on your mission.

Anal Toys Materials

You should be cautious about what you put inside your body, especially when it comes to your anus.

It has the most sensitive skin on your body, and you can easily damage it if you don’t pick the right material for your sex toys. Proceed with your gaping exercise once made sure that your toys are made out of silicone, stainless steel, and/or borosilicate glass.

Safe and Unsafe Sex Toy Materials | Read More

These materials are BPA-free and can’t cause you any damage. Many people think that jelly sex toys are a good idea for stretching or anal scenarios in general. They are wrong as these toys may contain phthalates that are not considered safe.

Weight of Toys

The most important part of this whole process is for you to be comfortable. That’s why getting a sex toy that doesn’t weigh a ton is important.

This applies especially to butt plugs because they’re meant to stay inside you for some time. Believe me, it would feel very uncomfortable to have something that weighs more than it should inside your anus.

This is why you shouldn’t purchase online and go directly to a sex shop to get a sense of how much different toys weigh.

Vibrations and Patterns

There are plenty of sex toys that come with different vibrations, patterns, and pretty much anything you can think of. These features won’t help with anal stretching, but they can make the experience more fun and relaxing.

Prep For Extreme Anal Activity

The secret to anal gaping doesn’t lie just behind the tools – you, too, have a pretty significant role in this voyage. Here are some of the main things you’ll need to do in order to properly prep for it.

It’s All In The Bowel Movement

Our rectum will keep the poop high until it’s time to pass it on, so worrying about any incidents is usually unnecessary.

However, the fear itself can be a real buzz-kill. It’s okay if you try to have an actual bowel movement before starting the butt play race.

Try skipping on any medication that will help you with this because the bowel movement might come in the wrong time that way.

To Douche or Not to Douche

If you can’t have a bowel movement and if you feel like your rectum is full, you can consider douching. Purchasing a rectal douche online is as easy as falling off a log – you’ll be set in no time.

Douching is more than enough if you’re going to indulging in shallow penetration. However, if you’re planning on going in deep you need to keep things clean.

To do that, an enema might be the solution you need.

An enema injects liquid deeper into your anal canal and will clean out everything you worry about.

Whether you’re going to use an enema or a douche is up to you. Here is a quick guide on how to DIY anal douche.

Lube Up

This one comes as no surprise, and I bet it’s already on your list as well. You can never use too much lube for anal gaping. It doesn’t matter what type of sex toy you’re using, putting on A LOT of lube will make the experience pleasurable.

It will also help eliminate any kind of pain or discomfort.

PRO TIP: Silicone lube is a great choice for anal stretching because it’s thick and effective. Always use water-based lube if your toys are made out of silicone. Oil-based lube is not recommended if your dealing with latex gloves or latex sex toys.

by Robert Thomas
from Sextopedia

Make sure to do proper research on the products and their manufacturers before purchasing. Using the right lube can make or break the whole stretching process. You could also consider making your own DIY anal lube.


I know – this is easier said than done. However, it’s a major part of anal gaping. Take a deep breath, focus your mind, and try not to clench. The only way your anus muscles will loosen enough for them to stretch out is if you find a way to fully relax.

“Usually anal intercourse can be accomplished without discomfort if precautions are taken.”

by Linda Alexander, Judith LaRosa, et. al.; Jones & Bartlett Learning, 2009
from New Dimensions In Women’s Health

This is where those yoga classes will come in handy. And remember – practice your breathing throughout the whole process.

Choose the Right Position

Being in the right position can immensely help you with the process. If you’re by yourself, it’s best to lay down on one side with your knees bent, and then insert the toy or finger once you’re 100% comfortable.

It’s much easier when you’re doing it with a partner because there are multiple ways you can go about it. You can lie facedown and let your significant other do the work, kneel before them, or try doggy style.

Different sex positions work best for different individuals. It’s best for you to try it out in multiple positions until you’ve found the right one.

The Aftermath

It’s all fun and games until you have to clean up the mess. There are two main things you have to do after the anal stretch is done to make sure you won’t experience any negative side effects.

Clean Your Toy

Sterilizing your sex toys is crucial because chances are – you’re going to use them soon enough. Using plain soap can do the job just fine. Proper disinfectants can also be effective; however, always check if there additional cleaning instructions from the manufacturer’s side.

It’s crucial to always clean your toys – proper hygiene plays a vital role in your overall sexual well-being.

Consider a Bath or a Shower

Is there a better reward than a cozy hot bath? I think not – and it will be well deserved.

Make sure to wash first just in case there are traces of any bacteria from the internal rectal muscles. A hot bath will relax your entire body, especially your anus from all the hard work.

Unwanted Side-Effects

I don’t mean to scare you, but every extreme form of play can lead to unwanted side effects.

Remember that these side effects can only appear only if you don’t follow the instructions. Try to do further research if you are suffering from any conditions that might interfere with your stretching.


Or as I like to call them, ‘every anal sex lover’s worst nightmare’ – well, after STDs, of course.

A hemorrhoid is a swollen vein that can appear on your anus or inside your rectum. They cause irritation, itching, bleeding and can make pooping painful.

“Hemorrhoids are swollen, inflamed veins found in the anus or in the lower part of the rectum.”

by Sue Walker, Maryann Wood, Jenny Nicol; Elsevier Health Sciences, 2020
from Mastering Medical Terminology – EPUB: Australia and New Zealand

I’m guessing you want to skip all of the above-mentioned, right? Well, if you use enough lube and work slow and steady – the chances of getting a hemorrhoid are minimal.


Perforation is a hole that can develop on the wall of any organ in our body. This is an extremely rare condition, but it’s worth mentioning. As long as you slowly insert and slowly pull out your toys – you have nothing to worry about.


Because the inside of the anus is sensitive, it’s easy to damage them and later on contract the most obvious risk, an STD. The solution for this is more than clear- practicing safe sex.

In Conclusion

Anal gaping can be a splendid experience for both you and your partner without there being actual pain or discomfort.

There is no doubt that anal play is one of the most popular sexual activities because the anus is filled with a lot of sensitive nerve endings that can give immense pleasure.

There is literally no reason for anyone to be afraid of it, as it is safe and effective if done right. Just follow the tips I gave you in this piece and enjoy!!


  • Robert Thomas

    Robert Thomas is a sexologist, researcher, and writer who loves to explore and investigate everything that is related to bedroom action. He strives to improve couples' sex life by challenging the advice given in research papers, books, magazines, and on the internet in general. Robert loves to write about sex, BDSM, as well as tips & tricks on how couples can introduce new sex toys to their relationship. He has been proudly featured in Healthline, Bustle, Cosmopolitan, Self, AskMen, MelMagazine, Kinkly, Jack&Jill Adult, and in many other publications. Learn more. LinkedIn

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