How to Use a Fleshlight | All You Need To Know

Fleshlights are well-known for being the go-to sex toys for men. If you’re dipping your cock into one for the first time, here are some dos and don’ts you need to know!


You’ve probably heard of Fleshlights, the small, tube-like sex toys that are meant to replicate real vaginas. For years, I had been skeptical about using them because of the stigma attached to owning male masturbators. But once you go pocket pussy, you never go back!

While it may seem obvious how to use one – just put it in, slide it out, repeat – I do have some tips to consider that can enrich your first pocket pussy experience, since there is more than one way to use a Fleshlight.

The Pocket Pussy 101

Without getting too technical, Fleshlights are a type of soft, textured sex toy meant to simulate the feeling of sex with a real vagina. They come with a case that helps with grip and control, as well as an end cap to keep them shut and concealed. The ‘playable’ part of the toy is called a Fleshlight sleeve. Depending on the stuff you’re into, it can be made in any color, size, or texture.

Not all Fleshlights are the same. In fact, there are hundreds of them on the market that all vary in specifics. There’s of course the standard Fleshlight, the one that’s probably most familiar to beginners, but there are also temperature-specific, customizable, and molded pocket pussies.

Or, if you’ve been wondering how it feels to bang Lana Rhoades, there are porn star versions out there to test out. On the other hand, if you want to try anal sex, grab an anal type to quench your thirst for the forbidden fruit. If you’re feeling like getting a blow job, maybe go for a lips Fleshlight.

The million-dollar question for many first-timers looking to buy a toy is how does a Fleshlight feel. Well, they’ve come a long way since they first launched. Evidently, sticking your penis into a plastic cup isn’t exactly the most enticing idea. That’s why all pocket pussies have ‘real skin’ technology built into the sleeve in the form of ‘SuperSkin’ material. It works to mimic human skin, resulting in nice, silky strokes, which is exactly what you’d want when having sex with your favorite porn stars’ Fleshlights.

How to Use a Fleshlight

Standard Play

There are several ways you can use your Fleshlight. However, don’t go sticking your pocket pussy on your ceiling, and hope you can helicopter your way inside. Keep it simple for the first few rounds until you get comfortable with the toy.

While realism might be its strong suit, a Flashlight is not a real vagina. It’s gonna lack the necessary wetness and warmth of a real pussy hug. Going in dry and hoping for the best won’t exactly make for the most ideal first-time use. Always keep some lube and warm water on hand.

The water will keep your Fleshlight warm until you decide to go for a ride, while the lube is gonna help keep that stroking momentum. Make sure to use water-based lubricants. Most Fleshlights are made from silicone and silicone lubes can dissolve the material over time.

Other than that, stroke your sleeve to your dick’s content.

Hot and Cold

If you’re a fan of temperature play, there’s a lot of fun you can have with your Fleshlight with just some water. There are two ways to go about this. Either store your Fleshlight in the fridge for a few minutes or dip it in cold water for some time. At the same time, have a glass of warm water on hand and go pocket-dipping between them to switch up the temperature during your love muscle rustling session.

Note: Do play around with the temperature level. Do not store your Fleshlight in a freezer as the water droplets can damage the material over time. Don’t go too hot either as it can actually melt your toy!

If you’re not a fan of getting messy, there’s always the option of specialty lubes you can try. For example, many water-based lube brands sell warming and cooling lubes that will last longer than a DIY method. Just drip the lube into the sleeve, wait a few seconds, and stroke away.


If manual stroking sounds like a hassle, there are ways to go hands-free during your Fleshlight experience – and you don’t have to look further than a simple mount. If you’re a fan of standing during sex, then a strong suction cup to stick to your bedroom wall sounds ideal. Or, if you want to get extra wet, you always have the option of attaching a mount to the shower wall. Just place the sleeve into the shower mount, lube up, stick it to your desired location and make the magic happen under some warm water.

Alternatively, if you’re not keen on buying a mount, there are always some DIY options to help you stroke. Some simple examples are putting the Fleshlight between your mattress and box spring, two piles of pillows, or wrapping the sleeve in a towel like a burrito. Basically, anything that can guarantee a stronger grip.

Once you feel the Fleshlight is secure enough, pound away at no additional cost!


One of the most commonly asked questions about the Fleshlight is whether it’s usable in the shower. Unless you’re using additional sex toys that have to be plugged into a socket, there’s no reason not to use the sleeve with some water. Most people like to stick it to a shower wall for a hands-free experience, but there are other ways to enjoy getting it on with your fake pussy.

Drawing up a bath and having some relaxing bonding time with your Fleshlight is one such method. Alternatively, sticking it to the floor and going all-in is also an option. Just make sure you have a firm grip, since water tends to make things extra slippery. Bear in mind that water is not a lubricant and can lead to injury if you’re not lubed enough. That’s why using thicker lube in the shower is preferable!

Partner It Up

Fleshlights are a solo-only sex toy as much as a wand vibrator is a good back massager. There’s absolutely nothing stopping you from introducing male sex toys like the pocket pussy to your partner. In fact, your sex life may just get infinitely more exciting by bringing a sleeve into your bedroom.

Opt-in for giving your partner complete control. Use it during some sexy shower time. Get some bullet vibrators and add an extra buzz to your boinking. Let your imagination run wild!

Stamina Training

Fleshlights come in various textures and sleeves. Part of the wonders of the pocket pussy is tied to the technical designs, which can help not only pleasure, but build endurance as well. Moreover, if you’re dealing with premature ejaculation issues, a Fleshlight can make for a really fun way to help build stamina.

Note that not every Fleshlight is able to help in this area. Those that can are specialized types with a sleeve crafted specifically to help with sensation control. Instead of crazy bumps, edges, and ribs inside the Fleshlight sleeve, which tend to make you orgasm faster, they typically have one or two bumps and no twisting textures, to extend the pleasure and momentum. They also help keep stroking speed at a minimum.

Extra Adult Fun

I’m probably Joanna Angel’s biggest fan. I can also say my penis has (in a sense) been inside her thanks to a Fleshlight. The wonderful world of pocket pussies holds some delightful surprises, which is what you will find the more you learn about it. For example, the existence of Fleshlight Girls and Boys that are essentially a collection of sleeve molds of various adult performers’ genitals.

Now you can let your imagination run wild as you watch your favorite POV videos featuring your go-to porn babe and fucking their pocket pussy at the same time. If you have a VR headset, you’re pretty much doing the real thing at that point. Technology is our friend after all.

Control the Suction

A Fleshlight comes with two end caps – the top cap that closes over the sleeve and keeps it clean and dust-free, and the bottom cap that configures the suction settings. The latter is perfect for adjusting the sleeve to your liking. If you’re looking to give your penis an extra tight hug, consider twisting the cap until you’ve reached your desired grip level. This is especially great for sleeves that are extra textured since these can give you double the pleasure.

Bottom line

If you don’t own pocket pussy by now, invest in getting one. They’re relatively cheap and last for as long as you maintain them. While keeping it tried-and-true with the meat beating method may be preferable for some, the world of the pocket pussy can help your penis and partner reach new heights.

Moreover, it’s a pretty useful toy if you’re just starting out your sexual journey. And for those that just want to give their tool a special tending to, it’s a perfect substitution for a pussy at a very affordable price.

Use your Fleshlight at your own pace – just remember to keep it lubed at all times!


  • Robert Thomas

    Robert Thomas is a sexologist, researcher, and writer who loves to explore and investigate everything that is related to bedroom action. He strives to improve couples' sex life by challenging the advice given in research papers, books, magazines, and on the internet in general. Robert loves to write about sex, BDSM, as well as tips & tricks on how couples can introduce new sex toys to their relationship. He has been proudly featured in Healthline, Bustle, Cosmopolitan, Self, AskMen, MelMagazine, Kinkly, Jack&Jill Adult, and in many other publications. Learn more. LinkedIn

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *