16 Things To Consider Before Buying a Dildo That Makes You Cum

Quick links: Top 5 Dildos | Before Buying | Where To Research | Dildo Survey Results | Choosing a Dildo | FAQs

So, you’ve finally decided to buy a dildo but are unsure where to start? If so, you’ve come to the right place! 

Sextopedia is home to sex toy experts and enthusiasts.

Here, you’ll learn everything you need to know about buying a dildo, including different dildo types, features to look for, and so much-much more!

But first things first…

This article is co-written by Sexologist Robert Thomas.

Key Takeaways

Top 5 Dildo Recommendations

Things to Consider Before Buying a Dildo

I wasn’t sure what exactly I needed when I bought my first dildo. Like most people, I thought that size was all that mattered. I was wrong. 

The good thing about dildos is that they offer more than the perfect size for you. These dongs come with different features, functionalities, textures, designs, etc.

Knowing all these factors will help you choose precisely what you need.

That said, here are some essential things to consider. 

1. Who Are You Buying It for?

This question will help you choose the right dildo for yourself or your partner. Each individual has their own preferences when it comes to sex, not just toys alone.

For example, some people love big dicks, while others prefer medium-sized ones.

Myth: Most women prefer a sexual partner who has a large penis. Fact: Surveys indicate this is not true.

by Jerrold S. Greenberg, Clint E. Bruess, Sarah C. Conklin; Jones and Bartlett Publishers, 2007
from Exploring the Dimensions of Human Sexuality

And if you love small penises, the world of dildos understands and accommodates everyone, and that’s the beauty of it.

Before making that purchase decision:

  1. Ask yourself who you are buying this sex toy for. If buying for yourself, find out more about what you’d like in a dildo.
  2. If buying for your partner, talk to them about it before buying.
  3. Find out what they like or would like to have inside them. 

The same applies if you intend to share the toy with your partner. In fact, according to a Sextopedia‘s dildo survey conducted between October 2021 and July 2022, at least 24% of the 2468 participants revealed that they preferred using their toys with their partners. 

Dildo using preferences

Therefore, knowing who you are buying this toy for sets the stage for finding the perfect selfie stick to fulfill your (or their) widest sexual desires. 

2. Educate Yourself

As mentioned earlier, there are many different types of dildos out there. Some have features you probably didn’t know existed. 

For instance, if you love both anal and vaginal sex, a double-ended dildo is a great option.

Alternatively, if you love the feeling of a penis growing inside you, you’ll love an inflatable dildo

You can also learn more about dildos by checking out pictures, watching videos, reading reviews, and following discussion forums.

Speaking of forums, Reddit is actually one of my favorites. There are many sex toy forums on Reddit worth following if you want to learn more about these artificial penises and how they can change your bedroom life. 

Not sure where to start on Reddit? Here are a few recommendations:

  • Sex Toys forum: For discussions about sex toys (over 190k members).
  • Dildo forum: For discussions about dildos (over 341k members)
  • Suction dildos: For suction cup dildo lovers (over 420k members). 
  • Dildo ride: For women who love riding dildos (over 64k members)
  • Toys gone wild (women only): Everything about women going wild with all kinds of sex toys (over 130k members).

3. What Kind of Sensation Do You Like?

If you’ve fucked more than one person, you probably know that all dicks are not the same. Some feel better than others. Precisely, some will make you cum back for more, while others will make you regret why you even showed up for the dick appointment. 

The good thing about dildos is that, from the onset, you can decide the kind of sensation you like. For example, vibrating dildos are great for stimulating your walls.

On the other hand, ribbed dildos are ideal for that gentle massage your inner walls need for powerful orgasms. 

4. What Body Part Would You Like to Stimulate?

Then, you need to think about the specific body part you’d like to stimulate. Just because it’s shaped like a dildo doesn’t mean it should go into your vagina or anus (although it could). Rather, the whole point is to find something that’s specifically designed for that particular body part. 

Feel confused? No worries, I’ll explain.

Dildos are not the same. And that’s because your anus and vagina don’t have the same design. Yes, they both have holes, but that’s just about it. 

Anal dildos are designed to penetrate the anus gently and navigate the insides effortlessly. Keep in mind that, unlike the vagina, your butthole doesn’t lubricate itself naturally. So, besides lots of lube, you’ll also need a toy specifically designed to navigate your inner walls.

“A dildo should not enter the vagina after going into the anus or vice versa unless it has been carefully washed or covered with a condom.”

by Helen Varney, Jan M. Kriebs, Carolyn L. Gegor; Jones and Bartlett Pub., 2004
from Varney’s Midwifery

On the other hand, vaginal dildos are designed to accommodate a vagina’s shape and elasticity. 

Additionally, some dildos are designed to provide both internal (vaginal) and external (clitoral) simulations. Keep that in mind when shopping for the right toy for you.

5. What Kind of Dildos are Trending?

Another thing you need to know is that the more popular a dildo is, the higher the likelihood that it’ll actually satisfy you.

One of the best ways to find out whether a dildo is popular is by checking out its reviews. If most of the reviews are positive, chances are that the phallus understands the assignment.

Another great way to determine whether a particular dildo is worth the investment is by following expert advice. For example, the sex experts at Sextopedia conducted the largest dildo survey to determine the most popular dildo brands in the market. 

Here is an overview of the survey results, based on data from 2468 participants:

  • Other – 45%
  • Adam & Eve – 18%
  • Lovehoney – 13%
  • Doc Johnson – 8%
  • Fun Factory – 6%
  • Tantus – 4%

Keep in mind that ‘Other’ is not a dildo brand. Rather, it’s a collection of different dildo brands recommended to us by different users on our websites and also during the survey.

Where to Research Dildos?

There are two main ways to research dildos: online and offline. Let’s briefly discuss how these two options work, including their pros and cons. 

Online Research

This option is the most popular among individuals shopping for dildos or looking for information about these adult toys. Here’s why:

Pros

  • Online research is convenient; all you need is a smartphone and internet.
  • This option is also discreet — you can conduct all the research you need from the privacy of your smartphone, tablet, or computer.
  • Online research is also faster than offline — you don’t need to be physically present at various stores to find what you need. This saves you time and energy. With a few clicks of a button, you can visit multiple websites and interact with actual dildo enthusiasts (like the team at Sextopedia or the Reddit forums I shared earlier) to learn more about donaldos and sex toys in general.

Cons

  • One of the biggest challenges with online dildo research is that you don’t physically interact with these toys. Rather, you’ll rely on images, videos, reviews, recommendations, etc., to make a purchase decision. 

Offline Research 

Offline research is also quite popular for a reason. So let’s check it out. 

Pros

  • With offline research, you can physically interact with these toys to learn more about them. 
  • You can also interact with sex experts, ask them questions, and choose what best suits you or your partner. 

Cons

  • The biggest challenge with offline research is that not so many people have the balls to actually do it. Although sex toys have been around for centuries, many people are still not so open about them. For this reason, the idea of being spotted at an offline sex toy or an event discussing sex toys is where most people draw the line
  • Because most people are not so comfortable buying sex toys online, some make rush decisions just to get it done. As a result, some people end up stuck with toys they don’t like but can’t return to the store. 

Dildo Survey Results

The Sextopedia dildo survey revealed some important information you may want to consider before buying a dildo.

First, our experts wanted to determine what dildo users considered the most crucial characteristics of a good dildo. 

The 9-month survey revealed the following: 

  • 24% voted for ‘ability to induce orgasms.’
  • 16% opted for ‘affordable quality.’
  • 12% chose ‘extensive warranty.’
  • 9% settled for ‘discreet.’
  • 11% preferred ‘body-safe.’
  • 8% voted for ‘texture & dimensions (girth & length).’
  • 6% opted for ‘the looks (shape & color).’
  • 14% favored other characteristics. 

From the above results, one thing is quite clear; people buy dildos because they want to improve their sex lives and hopefully experience mind-blowing orgasms.

That’s also probably the key reason you’re looking for a dildo.

That said, other factors, such as safety, are equally important. The last thing you want is to catch infections that’ll keep your coochie or anus out of action when you need a good fuck. We’ll discuss the issue of safety shortly.

Now let’s look at the other side of the coin: the key dealbreakers. What turns people off when shopping for a dildo? 

Here’s what our in-house dildo study revealed:

  • 35% of the participants said they hated poor-quality dildos.
  • 26% said they wouldn’t buy a dildo that was too expensive.
  • 18% said, ‘no warranty, no dildo.’
  • 10% said they wouldn’t buy a poorly-designed dildo. 
  • 6% said they wouldn’t buy a non-ergonomic dildo.
  • 5% said they wouldn’t buy it if they couldn’t use it with their partners. 

The survey results aside, now let’s look at it from an expert’s perspective. I’ve used different dildo types for over five years now, and I know what matters and what doesn’t when shopping for the ideal toy for you or your partner. Earlier, 

I mentioned that most people opt for size. That’s an important factor to consider. But would you consider size over safety? Hell no!

You see what I mean? Now, let’s drill deeper into the details. 

Things To Consider When Buying a Dildo

When shopping for the right dildo, consider the following factors: 

1. Your and Your Partner’s Experience Level

When starting out, you don’t want to go for the largest dildo out there.

Rather, it’s best to start slow as you navigate your way up. I recently discussed the best-selling dildo size in this article if you need more guidance.

2. Safety

I can’t stress enough the importance of buying a safe sex toy. To put things into perspective, studies have shown that the global sex toy market is worth at least $12 billion. For this reason, everyone wants a piece of the cake. 

But that’s not the problem.

The biggest problem is that there are so many poor-quality and dangerous toys out there.

Some of these toys can cause serious infections, damage your internal organs, and change your perspective of sex toys forever.

It’s, therefore, better to be safe than sorry.

And if you don’t know where to start when shopping for a safe phallus, check out this article on safe and unsafe sex toy materials

That said, here are some key safety tips to keep in mind:

3. Price Range

Although price is also a factor, you shouldn’t opt for dildos that are too cheap. That’s usually one of the first warning signs of an unsafe, poor-quality dildo. 

That said, only 7% of users spend more than $100 a year on dildos, according to the Sextopedia survey. The majority of users, at least 69%, spent less than $50 a year on these toys.

Yearly spending on dildos

However, this doesn’t necessarily mean that you should restrict your budget based on how much other users spend. There’s only one rule – if you can afford it, go for it!

4. Quality & Brand

The quality of the dildo you choose to buy will also influence your overall experience. But how do you choose the best quality, especially if it’s your first time buying a dildo? 

The answer is simple.

You don’t have to be a sex toy expert to know how to choose a good quality dildo (although being an expert like myself makes the process much easier).

Rather, focus on some of the top brands on the market, the likes of Adam & Eve, Lovehoney, Doc Johnson, Fun Factory, Tantus, and Lelo, among others.

Popular dildo brands

5. Counterfeit & Faulty Products

As mentioned earlier, there’s an influx of counterfeit and faulty sex toy products in the market.

However, you shouldn’t have to worry about that if you stick to buying from reputable manufacturers like the ones I listed above. 

6. Dildo Material 

Some dildo materials are safer than others. For example, silicone, glass, abs, ceramic, stone, and wooden toys are generally safe. 

On the other hand, toys made with thermoplastic rubber (TPR), elastomer, and styrene-ethylene-butylene-styrene (SEBS), are not as safe.

Preferred dildo materials

The same applies to those made with jelly, rubber, PVC & vinyl, and Cyberskin – they might feel good and realistic, but they’re not very safe. 

So what’s the reasoning behind the safety levels of these materials? 

There’s so much you need to know about safety when it comes to sex toys; it’s impossible to cover everything here. Check out this article about safe and unsafe sex toy materials for more details. 

7. Texture

Dildos come in different textures. I personally love veiny & lengthy dongs.

Some people prefer the hardness of glass dildos, while others would rather have that flesh-like feeling of silicone dongs.

Think about your texture preferences and if possible, visit a local sex shop to learn more about the material-texture relationship.

8. Realism 

Some toys offer a more realistic feel than others. It all depends on the material. 

However, don’t let the desire to get a super-realistic dildo make you settle for an unsafe toy. There are a few things you should know about certain realistic dildo materials, as discussed below. 

Rubber might feel more realistic than most adult sex toys, but it’s actually porous, making it unsafe.

The same applies to other realistic materials such as UR3, FauxFlesh, NeoSkin, and Fanta Sil-a-gel. They might feel more natural, but the risks outweigh the benefits. 

9. Firmness and Softness

Your favorite sex position can help determine the right firmness level of your preferred dildo. For example, if you love riding, you want a dildo that’s firm.

On the other hand, a medium-firm dildo might also work but might not be that great for riding.

Speaking of firm dildos, you may consider those made with wood, glass, and steel for the best results. 

10. Size

One of the reasons people buy dildos is because they come in different sizes. Rather than replacing an entire boyfriend or sampling every dick out there (and potentially catching infections), you can still keep your man and satisfy yourself with the right dildo size.

The same applies if you’re in a same-sex relationship but want to add a dildo to your sex toy collection. 

The right dido size will depend on your preferences. According to the Sextopedia dildo survey, 73% of the 2468 respondents opted for a dildo size of 6 to 7 inches.

Dildo Size Preferences

So, whatever works for you, go for it. As they say, anything is a dildo if you’re brave enough.

Girth

Still, on matters of size, girth plays a critical role. If you love your walls stretched, you’ll need to choose a dildo with a larger girth

Length

A long dildo is perfect for that deep penetration. Personally, anything between 8 to 9 inches is perfect. Of course, what’s best for you depends on how deep you want your honey pot stirred. 

11. Shape 

Dildos come in different shapes — you’ll never run out of options. Common dildo shapes include:

  • Curved dildos (great for G-spot and P-spot) stimulation.
  • Double-ended dildos (perfect for anal and vaginal penetration).
  • Fisting dildos (ideal for gaping). 
  • Rocket dildos (best for anal play).
  • Inflatable dildos (great for anal and vaginal play).
  • Fantasy dildos (for fantasy lovers).
  • Hammer dildos (if you want your insides pounded). 
  • C-shaped dildos (for double stimulation).
  • Hollow dildos (for adding a couple of inches to a man’s dong).

12. Color

Did you know that most dildo manufacturers allow users to choose their preferred colors?

So whether it’s black, green, brown, blue, red, pink, purple (my favorite), or anything in between, you’ll find what you need when you buy from a reputable seller.

If possible, find out what coloring agents are used in a dildo to make sure it’s safe.

13. Functions

Dildos have different functions — I can’t even list all of them here. As I write this, manufacturers are still developing newer functions you never knew existed.

For example, some dildos can squirt, while others vibrate, pulsate, or even both. If you prefer a hands-free experience, a suction cup dildo will come in handy. 

Other important functions to consider include the following: 

Power

Consider a dildo’s intensity, especially if you intend to invest in a vibrating or pulsating one. How hard do you like your vagina or anus pounded? Do you love it rough or slow? The answers to this question will help determine the right toy for you. 

Discreetness 

Some motor-powered dildos are louder than others. If you don’t have a lot of privacy at home, you may opt for a discreet dildo.

Besides the mac and cheese sound your vagina makes while masturbating, you won’t have to worry about any other sound when you buy a discreet dildo (unless you’re a loud moaner). 

Battery Life

The last thing you want is to get lubed up and ready only to discover that your toy needs a recharge. Arrg! That’s an instant turn-off!

For best results, opt for one with longer battery life. Of course, the ideal battery life will also depend on how frequently you use the toy. If all you do is fuck yourself every time you get a little privacy, you’ll need a long-lasting battery. 

According to the dildo survey by Sextopedia, 60% of the 2468 participants said their dildo sessions lasted between 16 to 30 minutes.

Average Dildo Usage Duration

14. Lubricant

Some dildos are not compatible with certain types of lube. Keep that in mind when shopping for the right phallus for you or your loved one.

“Vaginal lubricants should be water based for better tolerability and less interferences with condoms and silicon- based sex toys.”

by Volker Dietz, Nick S. Ward; Oxford University Press, 2020
from Oxford Textbook of Neurorehabilitation

I’ve discussed some of the best lube for sex toys in this article

15. Cleaning

Let’s face it — you’ll not be horny forever. There’ll come a time when you’ll need to clean the toy before storing it safely. 

Therefore, you should always consider whether the dildo is easy to clean before buying. This factor will largely depend on the sex toy material.

16. Storage

Finally, how you intend to store the sex toy will also influence your purchase decision. Precisely, you need to consider whether or not you have adequate privacy.

The Sextopedia dildo survey revealed that 40% of the 2468 participants stored their dildos in their drawers. But if this option doesn’t work for you, you might need to invest in a toy locker or consider other options such as closet shelves, bathrooms, etc.

Dildo Storing Preferences

Buying Dildos FAQs

Where to Buy Dildos?

There are many online and offline stores where you can buy dildos. I’ve discussed the best sex toy shops online in this article

What’s the Best Dildo Store?

When looking for the best dildo store (like Lovehoney, Adam & Eve, LELO, etc.), you have quite several options to choose from. I’ve discussed these options in detail here.

Should I Buy a High-Quality Dildo?

Yes, no matter how horny or broke you are, you shouldn’t compromise on the quality of the dildo you choose to buy. Keep in mind you won’t be horny forever. But if you buy a poor-quality dong, the damage could last for a long time.

How to Get a Free Dildo?

There are many ways to get a free dildo. But you shouldn’t be tempted by offers that seem too good to be true; some free dildos may not be safe.

So keep it here at Sextopedia to learn more about how to save money on dildos or potentially get free, high-quality, and safe ones.

For example, if you participate in our dildo Survey and disclose your email (not required), you’ll be automatically added to a $50 (monthly) sex toy giveaway campaign!

If you have any questions about this survey, please email us at [email protected] 

Should I Consider Buying Dildos From Amazon, AliExpress, or eBay? 

No! Buying adult toys from Amazon, AliExpress, and eBay is never a good idea.

These companies don’t usually test the quality of products sold by vendors on their platforms.

For this reason, you could potentially buy a low-quality dildo. And when that happens, a refund won’t be enough to undo the damage. 

For best results, stick to websites that review and test dildos.

For example, at Sextopedia, we’ll never recommend unsafe toys because we’re not in this for the money — we’re here to educate each other on sex toys and sex in general. 

Where To Buy Used Dildos?

You should be even more careful if you want to buy a used artificial phallus. Don’t trust any used sex store you come across on the internet.

Rather, consider used sex stores with an excellent reputation for keeping their toys safe, clean, and well-sterilized. I’m talking about the likes of Squeaky Clean Toys

Who Shouldn’t Buy a Dildo & Why?

There isn’t any single person on this planet who shouldn’t buy a dildo. Just as long as you have an anus or vagina, you can always buy a dildo to spice up your sex life. 

How Much Are Dildos? 

There’s no standard dildo price — it depends on the size, features, functions, shape, and many other factors. That said, for a good dildo, you may need to spend between $50 and $100. 

How to Buy Dildo Secretly? 

You can buy dildos secretly online. Most sex toy shops ship these items discreetly, meaning they won’t arrive at your doorstep with labels screaming, “Hi Jane, here’s your brand new, ribbed 12-inch 5-speed vibrating dildo you ordered from us!”

For more information, check out this article about the best sex toy shops online. 

How Many Dildos Should I Buy?

You can buy as little as one dildo or thousands. It all depends on your sexual fantasies and how much you’re willing to spend.

Remember, different drilldos have unique features and functionalities. So, the more dildos you try, the better your experience. 

What Size Dildo Should I Buy? 

Again, it depends on what you consider the perfect size. Most people prefer 6 to 7-inch dildos. But you are free to explore different sizes to discover what works best for you. 

Should I Buy Dildo and Lube Together?

Yes, dildos and lube go hand in hand. If you’re unsure what sex toy lube works best, I’ve covered everything you need to know here

Should I Get a Dildo as Large as My Partner’s Penis Length and Girth? 

The answer to this question will depend on whether your partner’s penis satisfies you. If it doesn’t, buying a dildo the same size won’t make sense.

But if you’re okay with your partner’s penis size, you can still buy a dildo of the same size with additional features, such as vibrations, to improve your sex life.

Should I Buy a Female or Male Dildo?

From my experience, dildos are not gender-specific. Therefore, you can use most of these toys with a male or female partner. 

How Long Do Dildos Last?

Dildos can last a lifetime with proper care and maintenance. By ‘proper care’, I mean cleaning and storing them properly. 

Is It Illegal to Buy a Dildo if You Are a Minor?

There’s no law prohibiting minors from buying dildos. Some argue that dildos are much safer than having actual intercourse. Others argue that minors may be too young to explore sex toys. 

In that case, what’s the right age to buy a dildo? Because this is still a gray area from a legal standpoint, most sex toy shops don’t sell their products to individuals under 18 years of age. 

How Many Dildos Can You Own in Texas?

As strange and ridiculous (but not unexpected) as it sounds, it’s illegal to own more than five dildos in Texas (even though you can buy unlimited guns with no training whatsoever). 

This is according to Section 43.23 of the Texas Penal Code

“A person who possesses six or more obscene devices or identical or similar obscene articles is presumed to possess them with intent to promote the same.”

However, whether or not this law is enforced is questionable.

If you have more questions, please write them down in the comment section below or send them directly to me at [email protected] 

Authors

  • Cathy K

    I love all “things” that can be played with, especially sex toys that are curvey and realistic at the same time. Jokes aside, I have great instincts when it comes to picking out a new dildo or vibrator or any other sex toy that can actually make you orgasm. Sextopedia has been my sweet-sweet home for about 3 years and I absolutely ENJOY TESTING & reviewing new sex toys. In my reviews, I’ll always tell you what I think, and how it feels, and I don’t sugarcoat anything. Learn more.

  • Robert Thomas

    Robert Thomas is a sexologist, researcher, and writer who loves to explore and investigate everything that is related to bedroom action. He strives to improve couples' sex life by challenging the advice given in research papers, books, magazines, and on the internet in general. Robert loves to write about sex, BDSM, as well as tips & tricks on how couples can introduce new sex toys to their relationship. He has been proudly featured in Healthline, Bustle, Cosmopolitan, Self, AskMen, MelMagazine, Kinkly, Jack&Jill Adult, and in many other publications. Learn more. LinkedIn