Quick links: Key Takeaways | Subspace Experience | Dominant’s Duty | Pay Attention To | My Experience | FAQs | Next Steps
Subspace is an altered state of consciousness that happens to some submissives during a particularly intense BDSM scene. It comes about because of the mix of endorphins, cortisol, and adrenaline that gets dumped into the submissive’s system during and/or after a BDSM session. Not every submissive will experience it, and not every submissive who does will experience it consistently.
A submissive who enters subspace has essentially entered a trance state, similar to hypnotic trances or those experienced by hardcore athletes or spirit mediums. While in this trance state, they are more vulnerable than normal, and afterward, they are often exhausted. Thus, submissives who enter subspace must be watched over during and after the experience.
“Trance: A state in which there is reduced conscious awareness.”
from Remarkable Healings: A Psychiatrist Discovers Unsuspected Roots of Mental and Physical Illness
by Shakuntala Modi; Hampton Roads Publishing, 1998
The triggers for entering subspace, and the experience of subspace, vary from person to person. Some remain lucid and experience something like a “runner’s high”, with giddiness, heightened senses mixed with a paradoxically greater pain resistance, and possibly trouble focusing.
Others go so deep that they can no longer speak, and must use gestures to convey “safewords” and other needs.
In short, a submissive who has entered subspace is even more at their Dominant’s mercy than ever. It is the duty of every Dominant to know what subspace is, and how to look after someone who has entered it both during and after the experience.
Even if you don’t want to participate in play with someone in subspace, you still need to know what to do if someone enters it unexpectedly while subbing for you.
Key Takeaways
- Subspace is a trance state caused by changes in body and brain chemistry triggered by an intense BDSM scene. During this state, the submissive is particularly vulnerable, and may even temporarily lose the ability to speak.
- A Dominant with a submissive who regularly (or unexpectedly) enters subspace must take full responsibility for their sub while in this state, and during aftercare. In subspace, your play partner depends on you even more than usual.
- Examples of looking after a submissive during a scene include replacing a spoken safeword with a specific gesture or sound, such as ringing a bell tied to their wrist or holding up one hand.
- Aftercare is key, as submissives may be strongly affected by their drop back into normal consciousness and endorphin levels. Their symptoms may be emotional or physical and may take a while to clear.
What Happens in a Subspace and Why?
Entering subspace comes about because of an alteration of brain and body chemistry in response to the scene. Cortisol and adrenaline are both released in response to physical or mental stress, and adrenaline also hits the body in response to excitement. Endorphins enter the system in response to physical effort and sexual pleasure.
Thanks to studies completed in the late 2000s, we now know that these three chemicals flood the systems of submissives during an intense enough BDSM session.
Raised cortisol levels and raised adrenaline levels have similar symptoms and generally work in tandem. Blood pressure and heart rate rise, which makes you dizzy and lightheaded. Respiration goes up, increasing the sensation. If you’re enjoying yourself, your excitement will increase as well, which can create a kind of feedback loop that increases the high.
“Both adrenaline and cortisol are stress hormones.”
from Matrix Reimprinting using EFT: Rewrite Your Past, Transform Your Future
by Karl Dawson; Hay House, 2010
You may feel unfocused or start to detach from reality, your sense of time may alter, and because adrenaline and cortisol halt digestion, you may feel queasy. Pain resistance goes up, and you may feel a sugar rush as glycogen is dumped into your bloodstream to give your muscles more fuel.
“Glycogen is the storage form of carbohydrates in the human body.”
from Textbook of Biochemistry for Medical Students
by D M Vasudevan, Sreekumari S, Kannan Vaidyanathan; Jaypee Brothers Medical Publishers Pvt. Limited, 2016
Meanwhile, endorphins entering the system in response to physical effort, injury (such as being flogged), and sexual arousal have their own set of effects. They also reduce pain sensitivity, while sharpening one’s sense of pleasure and desire and creating a kind of euphoria.
This increases the sense of unreality while giving it a more positive spin.
“Endorphins are released by exposure to light, and in response to pain, stress, sexual activity and exercise.”
from The Encyclopedia of Positive Psychology
by Shane J. Lopez; Wiley, 2011
In this state, you may become too blissed out to speak or sometimes, to communicate at all. You very likely will become suggestible and may experience a sense of floating. You may lose track of your normal pain limits, which is another reason why your Dominant must look after you carefully.
Coming out of subspace can leave you relaxed and satisfied, or you may find the drop back to normal levels of cortisol, adrenaline, and endorphins to be draining and emotionally painful. This experience is known as “sub drop“, and must be handled with proper aftercare.
The Dominant’s Duty
If your submissive enters subspace, your first duty is to remain calm and in control of the scene. If this is the first time this has happened with your partner, you may not notice their entering subspace at first.
If this is their first time, they may not know what is happening to them. Keeping calm and focused, and checking in with your sub if they start looking dazed, blissed out, or entranced, helps you see them safely through the experience.
If your sub is in the throes of subspace, they are partly detached from reality, suggestible, less aware of their own boundaries and limits, and will need help focusing and communicating.
The right approach includes watching them at all times, respecting their boundaries and hard and soft limits, checking in with them regularly, and having a way for them to communicate (a “safe gesture”) if they want things to stop.
You also need to be prepared for extended aftercare, as they may be very worn out, overwrought, or just too loopy to be left alone afterward.
Some Dominants believe that subspace is dangerous for the submissive and will end the scene if their submissive trances out. They will even advise others to do so, regardless of whether the person bottoming in the scene actually wants to experience subspace or not.
Other Dominants end the scene out of fear that they will not be able to properly handle a tranced-out sub or the potential sub drop afterward.
In my opinion, not permitting your submissive to experience subspace does them a disservice, especially if they want it. If you refuse to handle a submissive in subspace or tend to one experiencing sub drop, it’s best to partner up with someone who does not enter subspace when bottoming.
That way you can avoid the whole issue without depriving your submissive of something they enjoy, and without having to end things mid-scene a lot.
Sub Drop, Aftercare, and Other Concerns
Consent
A submissive can’t do scene negotiation while in subspace. They may ask for things that are dangerous or submit to things they would not normally do, only to be traumatized by the memory later. Always make sure that you stay “on script” while your submissive is in subspace, and don’t deviate from what the two of you agreed on before.
Read More | Informed Consent in BDSM
Communication
If your submissive becomes nonverbal during subspace, you will need to accommodate this by creating a hand signal, nonverbal sound, or other nonverbal signals in place of a safeword.
Sub Drop
Coming out of subspace isn’t always easy on a person’s system or psyche. They may become depressed, anxious, weepy, feel shame or self-loathing, or be very tired. They may be starved, nauseated, chilled, or shaky. Careful aftercare will help them get back into a functional mental state.
Include lots of cuddles, a warm blanket, talking them down, an electrolyte drink, and/or plenty of reassurance as recovery aids.
Aftercare
Spend more time on aftercare than you think you need to. Your submissive may not suffer from sub drop, but they may be too giddy, loopy, distracted, or exhausted to be able to look after themselves.
Personal Experience With Being in a Subspace
I have never experienced subspace myself, but I have sent some submissives there and looked after them until they recovered. Each of my partners’ experiences of subspace was a bit different from the others.
My first partner was caught completely by surprise when she went into subspace from being bound and flogged. I got a clue what was happening when she stopped being able to put words together properly. Later in the scene, she started a lot of aggressively dirty talk that caught me by surprise. She never spoke like that outside of subspace.
One partner became nonverbal, so I had her ring a small bell I tied to her wrist three times if I should stop. She rarely wanted to end a scene early, describing the experience as “near-religious ecstasy”. Unfortunately, she also occasionally suffered from brutal sub drop, which left her sobbing in my arms for a while. She still enjoyed it enough that the risk felt worth it to both of us.
BDSM Subspace FAQs
Is Subspace similar to spiritual or psychic trance?
Subspace is similar to other trance states in a variety of ways. The experience/r becomes highly suggestible and vulnerable and must be watched over by someone else. Emotions and certain senses can be heightened or dulled, and the experience/r may temporarily lose the ability to speak.
Do all submissives experience subspace?
No. It seems more likely to happen to those who are more susceptible to hypnotism or other trance states. Some submissives never experience it; others only experience it when a scene is particularly intense or involves certain activities, such as blindfolding or bondage. It’s completely possible to enjoy submission without ever experiencing this state.
Why is aftercare so important when a submissive has entered subspace?
Returning to normal consciousness after the experience of subspace can be slow, difficult, or even traumatic for the submissive, and the drop in endorphin levels back to normal can be hard on the mind and body. They may need tending, help, and reassurance to help them get back completely.
What Is TopSpace?
Topspace is an altered state of consciousness induced by the Dominants’ focus on an intense and enjoyable BDSM scene. Being in a topspace focuses rather than distracts and it is nowhere near as intense as being in a subspace.
What’s Next?
Do you experience subspace during a scene where you’re the submissive partner? Now’s your chance to let your Dominant or switch partner know all about it. What triggers it, what it feels like, what you can and can’t do while in it, and most importantly, what you’ll need from them when you enter and exit this mental state.
Doms, listen carefully, for your ability to tend someone in subspace, during and after, is a necessary skill, and a true measure of your worthiness to call yourself a Master.
Learn and talk with your play partner about the experience of subspace as part of your first negotiations, and know what to do should it happen. And, as always, with all BDSM activities, make sure you trust your partner and use a safe word.
