To understand someone’s kink, one needs to remove all previous misconceptions about them.
In essence, a kink is someone’s preference during sexual intercourse. Many of us derive sexual pleasure from the sexual act itself, while others get much more creative. A kink is a person’s source of sexual arousal no matter how unorthodox it may seem.
A kink can be defined as non-traditional, consensual sexual behavior between two adults. Some of the classic kinks include sadomasochism, master-slave roleplaying, and other erotic forms of discipline and sexual thrill.
The term kinky refers to a person who has unconventional sexual taste or loves something extraordinary in sex.
Distinguishing Sexual Arousal
Kink is not to be confused with fetishism. It is a form of sexual behavior as well but can go to extremes. Fetishism refers to an abnormal amount of adoration for a particular object, body part, or activity.
Another attribute that accompanies kinks is the destruction of the stigma behind them. Simply, kinks are all about fulfilling a sexual desire in unconventional ways.
If you think you might have a specific kink, the world of erotica probably already has a name for it.
The following is a list of kinks most popular in the world.
Sexual Pleasure Classics: List of Kinks
Classic kinks are considered to have become mainstream by now, so they do not surprise curious lovemakers. One of the most common forms of sexual kinks is sadomasochism.
In essence, sadomasochism derives sexual pleasure from different forms of discipline and inflicted pain.
What is Sadism?
Sado refers to deriving sexual pleasure and satisfaction from inflicting pain or humiliation.
The sex act focuses on consensual power exchange between two partners. One is never to go overboard with the hurt or do anything beyond what’s consented. When done right, the tease can be quite intense and stimulating.
In the scenario, one sexual partner is dominant and the other is submissive.
What is Masochism?
Masochism is the process of generating pleasure or sexual arousal from inflicted pain. The tamest forms of masochism include spanking, humiliation, whipping, spitting, or inflicting any kind of physical pain that causes sexual arousal. The one who is on the receiving end enjoys the ‘torture’ while experiencing the highest form of sexual gratification. The dominant partner, on the other hand, is usually the one inflicting the pain.
In the scenario, the masochist usually plays the role of a submissive partner who enjoys a bit of hurt in exchange for kinky pleasure. Both of these terms – dominant and submissive date from the nineteenth and eighteenth centuries, so people have been enjoying this kind of sexual pleasure for a very long time.
Sadomasochism is also known under the abbreviation S&M (Sadism and Masochism). Sadomasochists differ when it comes to sexual dangers or distress. The process always relies on consent so it is not considered sexual violence. The two partners usually agree on the details of the act beforehand and even invent a safe word to control the intensity. The act can include verbal or physical humiliation, sex organ humiliation and torture, and more.
The partners can choose between activity and passivity, depending on the roles chosen. S&M usually refers to a master-slave kind of relationship, where one is the dominant partner and the other is submissive. It’s a sexual preference for many devoted followers who engage in erotic humiliation.
According to the latest research, the term is widely known as a sexual interest and not a sign of previous abuse or sexual issue. The play at hand does not cause much damage nor does it involve anything dangerous.
Anal sex has long been a taboo conversation, but it slowly grew into a much more accepted and enjoyed sexual act. It was first considered a vile act that attributed to the gay community. Yet, in time, more and more sexual explorers – gay or otherwise – found anal sex to be one of the ultimate pleasure plays.
Anal intercourse is enjoyed by many kink enthusiasts, regardless of gender or sexual orientation.
Anal sexual activities refer to penetrating the anus or rectum with actual penile penetration. However, anal play is not limited to penile penetration alone. Healthline explains that the act can also be done with sex toys, dildos, vibrators, or butt plugs.
In a national survey, it was concluded that over 36% of women in the US and 44% of men have reported that they have engaged in anal pleasuring.
Like most sexual activities, anal requires participants to be safe and not go overboard. As with many sexual acts, it is not inherently dangerous. The act requires both partners to plan, communicate and prepare for this extreme sexual excitement.
Mutual safety should always be a priority for all involved parties. That does not take the fun and thrill out of the experience, just makes it equally safe for everyone. For instance, using a condom is highly recommended when diving deep into some backdoor action.
Here are some of the precautions that you need to consider before taking part in anal play.
- Set the tone. Before partaking in anal sex make sure to include a lot of foreplay and dirty talk, depending on your partner’s preferences. For proper enjoyment, make sure your partner is fully relaxed before you set the sex scene. Consider using extra sheets to avoid any bodily fluids and stains.
- Penetrating the anus calls for whole lotta lube. This is so because unlike the vagina, the anus does not ‘get wet’ by itself. If you are short on lubricants, you can go for coconut oil as a suitable alternative. Without proper lubrication, the delicate tissue inside the anal wall can rip and cause pain, scarring, or even excessive bleeding.
- The tissue inside the anus is far more sensitive than the vagina because it is much thinner. This makes the act much more risky in terms of passing infections, viruses or STDs. Even if you and your sexual partner don’t have any STD’s, tears on the rectum skin can still cause infections and inflammation.
If you are not satisfied with one sexual partner, perhaps group sex is the kind of kink that suits you best. Group sexual intercourse involves non-monogamous sex between multiple participants, regardless of their gender or sexual orientation.
Some examples of multiple-partner sex are orgies or swing gatherings/parties. These are described as a celebration of the body and soul through having sex or exchanging erotic energy with multiple partners. These events usually occur during private sex parties, but also at brothels or sex clubs.
If you are already a fan or you’re considering taking part in group sex, remember, safety is key, both in terms of possible injuries as well as contracting STDs.
We already established that fetishes differ from sexual kinks. According to ABC.net.au, fetishism is the process of nurturing sexual attraction towards inanimate objects or parts of body that are not the genitals. The body part or object that is the center of the person’s sexual fantasy is called the fetish.
We all know the basic fetishes, like foot fetish and role play. However, this is a wide field of exploration and includes many more fetish-related scenarios, like food play, age play, double penetration, and others.
The following are some of the most common fetishes practiced today.
Roleplay is the most common sexual play that couples, as well as singles, take part in. It’s creative, fun and playful, and focuses on acting out your sexual fantasies. Role Play is a cozy way for couples, who have lost the spark in their sex life, to reignite it.
The most common role-reversal sex scenario involves dress-up. The dressing is the part intended for both partners. Its scenarios can range from teacher-student, doctor-patient, boss-secretary, pool boy-rich housewife, and many others.
Everyone’s tastes are different when it comes to sex, but thankfully, fetish characters exist in the dozens. For a little boost of erotica and specificity, many role-play fanatics engage in Furries play. This fantasy calls for both partners to wear giant costumes and play different animals for sexual stimulation.
Another part of role play is the stigmatized age play. This revolves around the participants’ age or their imagined age. If you and your partner get off on calling each other ‘baby’, ‘little girl’ or ‘daddy’ you might have participated in age play already.
Part of the age play scenario may even involve diaper play, where one of the partners wears a diaper and pretends to be a baby.
There is also the well know porn stereotype of stepmom-stepson, stepdad-stepdaughter roles. These have become a sexual obsession to many porn fans.
Impact play involves any kind of physical impact that you and your partner might engage in during sexy-time. Anything from gentle stroking to spanking can be counted as part of impact playing.
Allure notes that partners who partake in some occasional sensation play have a better sex life than couples who don’t.
Impact play refers to the use of hands, paddles, whips, or whatever you have around your house (spatulas work great) to hit the body. If you’ve ever playfully spanked your partner during sex, that’s impact play.
More than anything else, impact play requires mutual consent and communication. Here’s a good rule to keep in mind. If you’re the one providing the impact, stick to areas that are fatty, such as the side of the butt or thighs. Avoid areas close to your partner’s body organs, especially the kidneys (lower back), heart, or rib cage.
Foot Fetish is the most common answer when someone’s asked to name a fetish. It is an extensive sexual attraction aimed at human feet. You may find the fetish not as appealing, but some people enjoy the sight, smell, and movement of other people’s feet.
For people who have this fetish, the source of sexual arousal comes from the shape and size of the feet or toes. Some of the main fetishes surrounding feet include painted toes, decorated or tattooed feet, foot odor, and foot dressing.
The most common sexual act though is through sensory interaction, i.e. rubbing, licking, biting, caressing, kissing, smelling, or tickling the foot.
Some fetishes include natural body changes, like pregnancy. A pregnancy fetish is deriving sexual arousal from pregnant women. The admiration comes from the fact that bodies change during pregnancy. Bigger boobs, enlarged belly, and lactating – all these add up to a sultry pregnancy fetish.
A pregnancy fetish differs from a breeding fetish. The breeding fetish is centered around the process of impregnation. Some people get sexually aroused by the act of ‘passing the seed’ much more than in its aftermath. Though exciting, it is always wise to be consensual during this kinky sex act.
In essence, this type of sexual arousal comes from the man’s primal instincts to breed and be attracted to the idea of a fertile woman.
Anonymous sex refers to today’s well-known one-night-stand, where partners meet to have sex and never see each other again.
The no-strings-attached trope has been present for years now. Even so, there was once a time when the act itself was very frowned upon, as it happened ‘outside of marriage.’ Casual hookups are much more common today, especially given the rise of dating apps and social media.
Anonymous sexual intercourse can also refer to strangers who met at a club and spend the night together. The sexual partners might have been under the influence the night before and have no recollection of the person they had sex with.
To achieve even greater sexual arousal, the sex partners avoid sharing names, ages, and other details about themselves. The only thing that’s on their mind is discovering anonymous sexual attraction and enjoying it for what it is.
The Edge Play involves all kinks surrounding greater risks while trying them. If you have been in the blink of death during sex then you participated in some form of edge play.
The Edge Play involves autoerotic asphyxiation, knife and needle kinks, and all acts that can cause safe harm. Edge refers to the fact that you are at an edge of life and if you go overboard it could become deadly. If you decide to live on the wild side make sure to be safe, consensual, and cautious.
If you thought that sadomasochists were naughty then you certainly haven’t experienced knife play. This kind of fetish involves using a knife either on you or your partner’s body during sex. The sex act must be consensual, as the knifed partner will get some minor cuts on different body parts.
To engage in this kind of play, you and your partner need to set boundaries of how far you can take the sexual arousal and risk. Using a safe word is a strongly recommended sex tip, especially in avoiding risky or out-of-control situations.
Using knives during sex is appealing for couples because it brings back that sense of danger in the bedroom, without having to go full S&M.
Partners who take part in cutting and some knife play, describe it as a very intimate bonding experience, as both partners are put in a vulnerable position.
Other sexual acts that involve inflicting physical pain on your partner’s body include tamer needle play, ball torture, and fire play.
Playing with needles, piercings, and acupuncture as a source of sexual arousal causes an endorphin high in both partners. It ultimately leads to heightened sexual attraction and explosive orgasm.
Couples who practice this form of play usually do it as a form of sexual self-expression. They can imitate tribal rituals, use it for entertainment, self-discovery, and sexual pleasure.
Some of the most commonly used objects include needles, or sharpened tools that trigger the body to feel sexual arousal and excitement. Of course, there are limits to everyone’s pain receptors. So, if you are not very experienced in BDSM, then we advise you to be well-prepared.
This type of kinky sexual act is done through experimenting with fire in a bed. The tingling sensation that is brought when the fire is placed on the skin increases the chance of a speedy and fiery orgasm.
Lighting matches and extinguishing them on your partner’s body can also be counted as part of sexual fire play. Another, yet more dangerous way to practice the fire fetish is by setting alcohol ablaze on the skin. Although exhilarating, the approach here requires full attention and caution.
We do not have to tell you that this act is very dangerous. If mishandled, both partners can end up with burns or even cause an in-house fire. To avoid the risks, make sure that you have some water in your reach. If inexperienced, it’s best to take things one step at a time and learn where you feel the most excited and safe. This act can also be included among the temperature play kinks when the body temperature rises causing a leg-shaking orgasm.
This type of kink has its own dangers when practiced. It involves short electroshocks delivered to the body to produce sexual stimuli. Electrostimulation, like all forms of edge play, is usually practiced by BDSM followers who will do anything to get an extra rush that will intensify their orgasm.
The electro shocks are delivered directly to the person’s genitals by using an electric wand or a whole electrical nerve endings stimulation unit.
Keep in mind that the shocks delivered can be extremely dangerous and cause you to have to visit the hospital. If you want to practice this sexual act always contemplate it with your partner.
Wax play refers to experimenting with hot wax during sex. This type of play is much safer and playful compared to fire or needle play. It has been present since the dawn of times, or better yet, since the existence of candles.
To emphasize sexual attraction and sexual arousal, couples spill melted wax on each others’ naked bodies. This is one of the classic ways to kickstart a slight burning sensation and therefore, a different kind of body sensation.
Even though it’s a moderately safe fetish, it is still an advanced form of edge play. If done wrong or to an excess, wax play can lead to skin burns.
This type of play involves greater risk and is thus recommended for experienced couples only. No matter if you do it by yourself or with a trusted partner, one wrong move can send things south – very fast.
Breathplay involves restricting the flow of oxygen to your body to increase the erotic play and intensify the orgasm. When a single person tries to stop the breath flow themselves, it’s called autoerotic asphyxiation.
This sexual act can be part of the orgasm control kinks since you are the one determining the intensity of the orgasm.
This act is not advisable to be done without assistance. People may die accidentally strangling or suffocating themselves to heighten sexual arousal. If you expose your brain to no oxygen, you experience a sense of euphoria, dizziness, and slowed body function. All these events occur before you lose consciousness. The orgasm is achieved minutes before fainting, which is why it is as intense.
Be careful if you are engaging in breath play, as this sexual activity can be much deadlier than the rest.
Having sex during your or your partner’s menstruating days can be superb for achieving sublime sexual arousal. Women might have some disagreements about it – but period sex is enjoyed more often than you might think.
If you don’t mind getting down and dirty, then this type of kink is your cup of tea. By having sex during that time of the month, women reduce their cramps, headaches, and increase their sex drive. The menstrual blood can also act as a natural lubricant so penetrating is even easier than during non-period sex.
Having sex on your period can be extremely pleasurable as you and your partner can enjoy love-making like teenagers.
Period sex can elevate pain and not to mention establish a bonding experience with your partner and better sex life.
No fetish list is complete without one of the most stigmatized sexual acts to date – golden showers.
When someone thinks of a golden shower they might picture a shower of gold, or getting a lot of money, but that’s not the case. This drastic sex act involves using actual urine as a way to acquire sexual arousal.
Golden shower is a sex act through which one person creates sexual attraction by either peeing on their partner or being peed on.
The peeing act can take place on their partner’s body, near or in front of them. This act does not require many rules to be followed but consent is a must!
According to Cosmopolitan, the most attractive part of the golden shower act is the act of dominance and submission. Partners get off on peeing each other. This is another part of the humiliation play that belongs to the BDSM group.
This type of fetish might sound disturbing, but if anything, it’s more often misinterpreted and abused. It is the process of sexual arousal from observing crushed animate or inanimate objects.
We don’t have to explain that, to engage in this type of fetish you need to do it cruelty-free. Many fetishists enjoy crushing both objects and living beings. But, in the case of the latter, you must never let play get out of hand – ever.
Actual edging has nothing to do with bringing your sexual activity to the limits of safety. Sexual edging is a safe erotic play that requires postponing one partner’s orgasm for another time. It revolves around initiating orgasm control, thus heightening sexual arousal.
Stimulating, arousing, and barely bearable, pushing back your orgasm is a raunchy play that somewhat punishes one partner by denying them an orgasm. The play requires that the orgasm does happen at one point, but many couples like to drag on this experience for hours and even days on end.
A sex machine can involve any technological, man-made object created to imitate sexual activity. The most popular machines are designed to simulate human sexual intercourse, without the presence of a second participant.
Sexual machines can differ in size, depending on the person’s certain needs. Some can be human-sized, while others have the regular sex toy outlook and purpose. Vibrators, for example, were first invented to cure hysteria in women. In time, however, these became the most common pleasure-inducing object found in women’s underwear draws.
The devices used for sexual activity can either penetrate or be extractive. The popular ‘fucking machine‘ works with a motor that uses a certain size dildo to initiate penetration. The person using the machine can adjust the speed, toy size, and intensity according to their liking.
One of the most unusual or better yet the most unconventional sexual practice has to be spectrophilia. This type of fetish is usually possessed by people with a wide imagination. The people who have spectrophilia possess a sexual attraction or obsession with ghosts.
Many people, since the dawn of times, have reported that they have spent the night with a ghost. A female ghost is called a succubus, while the male is an incubus. These encounters were first mentioned in folklore stories. Mainstream media and Halloween movies might have impacted a great deal on the development of these fetishes.
Because of movies like Twilight and Supernatural, it’s no surprise that people report sexual encounters with ghosts constantly.
One of the most popular choices for many porn lovers is tentacle porn. It’s because people love to watch double or in this case multiple penetrations.
Unlike popular belief, the porn does not include live octopuses or sea creatures, but a man in a tentacled monster costume. These pornos usually appear in hentai porn, which is a porn with anime characters.
It’s appealing not only because it’s foreign but it also fulfills the imagination of bestiality, which is a no-no. But if you aren’t hurting anyone, you are free to watch and get off on it.
The Kink Community
No kink play is left to its own devices – there is always a designated kink community to support all plays. The kink community offers support to all brave pervs out there who don’t mind getting down and dirty and experimenting. It is a safe place to be, one that offers support in your kink play.
From tutorials to tips and tricks on how to maximize your kink play, the kink community aims for both arousing and safe experiences.
The kink community, also known as kink culture, has become more accepted in mainstream culture. It aims to destigmatize different kinds of sexual practices and paraphilias like risky sex games, fantasies, fetishes, and other forms of erotic expression.
It doesn’t matter how dirty your mind and thoughts can get. Chances are, there are a few other like-minded fanatics out there who are just as game to get kinky as you are.
Robert Thomas is a sexologist, researcher, and writer who loves to explore and investigate everything that is related to bedroom action.
He strives to improve couples’ sex life by challenging the advice given in research papers, books, magazines, and on the internet in general.
Robert loves to write about sex, BDSM, as well as tips & tricks on how couples can introduce new sex toys to their relationship.
He has been proudly featured in Healthline, Bustle, Cosmopolitan, Self, AskMen, MelMagazine, Kinkly, Jack&Jill Adult, and in many other publications. Learn more.